More nonsense

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SAVE money this Valentine's Day by leading a life of crippling loneliness.

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WANKING over photos of your mother in law is not a way of showing your wife you'll still find her attractive in old age. Apparently.

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BLOKES. Discover what it's really like to have a baby by phoning in sick for a year to watch Jeremy Kyle.

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SEND CONDOLENCES via SMS to save time e.g. ROFG (rolling on floor, grieving).


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FOOTBALL FANS. Save money on a Sky subscription by employing a court artist to sketch the action whilst listening to the radio.

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HOUSEWIVES. Behind the toilet is not a good place to store your dainty basket of toilet rolls.
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ENJOY the Cash for Gold experience by posting me a £50 note and receiving a £5 note in return.

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OBITUARY pages in local papers often act as a preview for upcoming job openings.
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DAILY MAIL readers. Club together for a flux capacitor and fuck off back to the good old days.

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WARNING. Come Dine with Me Down Under is not what you think. It's just a cooking show based in Australia.