Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Shame
RTHK-
Two elderly street sleepers have been found dead as temperatures in Hong Kong plunged to their lowest in December for 11 years. One was lying unconscious in a park in Ngau Tau Kok, while the body of the other was discovered in Kwun Tong. Temperatures dipped around Hong Kong, with the mercury plunging to minus-three Centigrade on Tai Mo Shan. The Observatory, said that a low of 5.8 degrees was recorded there this morning.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Jokes- (via Giles)
A Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Liverpool fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?'
'Because I'm not a Liverpool fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a Man United fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, why are you a Man United fan?'
'Because my mum is a Man United fan, and my dad is a Man United fan, so I'm a Man United fan too!'
'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Man United fan.
You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time… What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?'
'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Liverpool fan.
An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar.
They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.
They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!'
Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.
Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a
pint of bitter.
Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.
He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.
When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone.It's a miracle!'
Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager.
As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock.
'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's A Miracle.' Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says,
'Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Anarchy in the UK
A
Sunday, December 05, 2010
Time and space
Being able to contemplate our own existence is probably man's greatest ability. Recent discoveries in quantum mechanics and astrophysics probably our greatest achievements, at least since we landed on the moon, or sent voyager off into the stars. I say 'we' in the same way as I say 'we' had a good win last night if Liverpool have managed to win for a change. These discoveries have had bugger all to do with me, and never will. Instead I am quite happy to hang onto the coat-tails of the great and the good in the name of mankind.
Descartes was way before his time when he said 'I think therefore I am' this simple statement could be the ultimate definition of what it means to be human. Philosophy died between 50 and 100 years ago overtaken by physics, rendering philosophy's 'ultimate' questions irrelevant and redundant. 'Who am I? Why am I here?' are still questions that remain unanswered, but the questions seem obsolete and unnecessary. Obviously the answers are personal, there for the individual to define for themselves, may it be father, mother, millionaire, to serve god....etc
Yet our understanding of our physical world and our origins and the origins of everything has increased so far, within our lifetimes that it is incomprehensible. At the time of Plato and the ancient thinkers, mankind took a small hop forward by using logic to examine our surroundings, a thousand years later we took a skip at the time of Copernicus with our understanding of the planets, and a jump with Darwin's Theory of gravity. We took another jump last century thanks to Einstein's Theory of relativity and have continued making huge strides ever since, but it is the last 10 years that we have made that great leap forward.
Over the last ten years we have confirmed how the universe was formed, The Big Bang theory has been around for a lot longer, but it is only now that we have been able to fully explain it.
The universe began as a single point, outside the confines of space and time. A miniscule point 15 billions years ago, a singularity, where the accepted rules of physics did not apply. That point created the conditions for it to spontaneously come into existence. All this talk of being outside the confines of space and time and outside the accepted rules of physics have until recently sounded more like sci fi than real science, but it has been the huge step forward in Quantum mechanics that have enabled us to understand this paradox.
I do not pretend to fully comprehend all of this, but the gist is clear. Deep within each atom, and deep is the operative word we eventually reach the level of quarks, the strangeness of which is mind blowing. Under a microscope we cannot see quarks, we cannot capture them, not in the conventional sense anyway. It's a little like knowing something is there, but each time you look it disappears! But we can predict where they will be, and are able to trace their path. Quarks don't follow our usual understanding of physics, they behave in ways which are physically impossible , yet everything in the universe is comprised of quarks contained within neutrons, atoms, etc.
It has been the ability to match quantum theory and Einstein's theory of relativity, and a few other theories which eluded scientists, but no longer-'M' Theory is the closest we have come to the Holy Grail of 'The Theory of Everything'. Simply put, each of these theories has now come together separately and at times overlapping to produce a 'map' of the universe and space and time itself. This theory leaves open the existence of other universes apart from our own universe, and that thought is truly staggering.
It is that understanding of our universe, from the quantum level through to the beginnings of our universe and beyond that is surely our greatest achievement. The idea that our puny, miniscule selves are now able to comprehend our place in the whole scheme of things is remarkable for an ape like being. We still have much to learn, and in time we may have a better understanding of other facets of the universe that may at the moment be just too beyond our capabilities. As a monkey may not understand the concept of calculus(neither do I, but I know it involves maths!), there will obviously still be concepts alien to ourselves. I think these may involve space and time, and maybe even our own existence.
All of this doesn't preclude the existence of god or gods. No matter how far we go back scientists may never answer the final question-Why? God could be a small child playing with his chemistry set, and our universe his experiment. A nun once said to me 25 years ago, 'Faith is all you need to believe in God, to prove his existence is not necessary if you have faith that he is there'. Faith is a personal choice.
I have recently begun to question Richard Dawkins' motives, his only role seems to be to prove that God doesn't exist, and in that sense he is missing the point. His questioning the bible's authenticity is meaningless, those that take it literally will always take it literally, no matter what is proved. Richard Dawkins has become what he has fought against-a zealot! The control of religion is a political question, and has no place in science.
Do these findings affect us in our everyday lives? In reality, no! But the knowledge and understanding that we now have about matter, particles, atoms etc may well have practical uses in the coming years.
I find it comforting to think that I have billions and trillions of unpredictable quarks that make up my physical being. In some ways, knowing that these same parts of me will continue into eternity is comforting, and who knows may retain some impression of me beyond my understanding.
Knowing that I am an infinitesimally small part of the universe(s) makes me worry less about my rent!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wanchai
Wanchai (to the tune of 'Downtown')
chris mercer 29.11.10
If you are young, and got nowhere to go, head down to Wanchai, Wanchai
All along the streets you'll find lots of bars and discos,
All are pretty seedy, but good enough to get pissed in.
Careful of your wallet and anything you're carrying
Be-cause-you-will-have-such-a-good-time-there
Oh Yeah, Wanchai, you'll find everything there, Wanchai
It is just waiting for youuu wanchai,wanchai
If you are old and feeling life has no meaning,head down to Wanchai,Wanchai
The wife gets on your nerves and you want to escape, just go to Wanchai, Wanchai,
Standing at the bar, you'll meet lots of sad gits,
As the beer goes down, you'll become another sad tit
In-Wanchai-it-doesn't-really-matter, just-drink-some-more beer-and-get-a-little -fatter,
oh yeah Wanchai, you'll lose everything, Wanchai, everyone's in the same boat, Wanchai it's there for you noooowww.wanchai wanchai
Got no money, and up for a laugh, head down to Wanchai,Wanchai
Stand on the street and watch the nutters go by oh yeah in Wanchai,Wanchai
24 hours a day, it never fails to impress,
The people that you see, are often quite depressed
Stand-on-the-corner-watch-the-world-go-by
Oh yeah, Wanchai, it has lots of 7/11s, Wanchai, there's always a party,Wanchai
It's just waiting for youuuuu-wanchai, wanchai, wanchai......
Royal Wedding mugs, again?
C.Mercer 29.11.10
So there is a Royal Wedding in the spring, Whoopee-fucking-doo! 'Oh! But Prince William is so nice' 'He has served his country at war' Yes, he has, and he deserves the same reward as the rest of his fellow soldiers, our respect and thanks-no matter how fucked up the actual decision to fight the war in the first place, and no matter how that war continues to drag on because of the sheer ineptitude of the politicians running it.
He doesn't deserve our congratulations about his nuptials anymore than the nice bloke down the road, who's marrying her from the pub. Good luck to them as well, but the whole country is not getting a day off work for them!
The last time the country was given a day off for a royal wedding was for Charles and Diana, that was money well spent, eh?
The great British Media scumbags have started a campaign for Charles to abdicate(his ascension) and William to become King, this because Charles is married to an ugly horse, and William's bit would look better on the throne. Harsh language indeed, I learnt it from The Sun, The Mirror and The Star. The same three papers that destroyed Diana and hounded her to death, have now turned on Charles for re-marrying a woman that looks remarkably like his mother, and his grandmother(you remember her, the old fascist hag who did nothing but gamble and drink brandy all day, but because of her vast wealth lived to a thousand, as her daughter will).
Why do we continue to allow this shite to carry on? The same reason why we vote Conservative, and allow banks to fuck up the whole country, we have become a feckless, gutless, apathetic bunch of hypocrites.
Sack the monarchy! Sell all of their stolen property and wealth. Create our first republic. We don't want Charles, but we don't want William either.
The students have got the right idea, destroy the vestiges of wealth that have put us in this situation, create chaos in the city(minus the violence against the police, they are only doing their job).
Don't stand for it anymore. Keeping the monarchy is as justified as the Catholic church's views on contraception, abortion and women priests-makes no sense whatsoever 'but it has always been that way'.
'Tradition' bound women's' feet and lives for millennia, and kept nations enslaved. Us 'peasants' have only had a vote and a voice for just over a century, women much less than that. William and Harry have lived charmed and rich lives not because they or their father or even grandfather earned the money to give them those benefits, but because their ancestors brutally oppressed nations, including the people of ours who endured hundreds and hundreds of years of servitude and serfdom. What is there to be proud of? Where is your fucking stately home and crown?
In the end the history of the British people, although not as brutal as that of those who suffered the unspeakable degradation of slavery, was never the less tragic. Yet, we allow the same family and families that subjected its people to these crimes to continue to enjoy the fruits of those crimes. WHY?
Monday, November 29, 2010
Top Tips
Top Tips
FACEBOOK USERS. Ensure your 'friends' are aware that you're being 'funny' with the addition of ten exclamation marks.
Top Tips
DAVE CAMERON. Avoid spunking two million quid up the wall on a happiness of the nation survey. We're all skint and pissed off.
Top Tips
STUDENT PROTESTORS. Remember: don't start breaking windows until photographers have formed an orderly semi-circle behind you.
Top Tips
SAVE time wrapping presents this Christmas by buying everyone you love long grey cardboard tubes.
Top Tips
PARENTS. Avoid scarring your children when watching violent movies by blindfolding them and locking them in a cupboard.
Top Tips
A BUILDERS' PORTALOO makes an ideal Tardis for strong-stomached kids.
Top Tips
TRAIN COMPANIES. Simply suffix your train times with '-ish' to avoid so many complaints.
Top Tips
BBC. Increase viewing figures for 'Later with Jools Holland' by broadcasting it earlier and with a different presenter.
Top Tips
HARRY POTTER FANS. Avoid a costly cinema trip to see the latest film by reading the book and creating the images in your mind.
Top Tips
A BOTTLE of shampoo is an excellent substitute for a pork pie. At least, according to Tesco Online shopping, it is.
Top Tips
PREVENT ornamental fish ponds freezing up this winter by filling them hourly with boiling water.
Top Tips
TRAMPS. Avoid being 'moved on' by investing in a tiny union jack and moving your sleeping bag to The Mall for the next 6mths.
Top Tips
ROYAL ENGAGED COUPLES. Do us all a favour and nip off to Vegas this weekend for a quickie wedding by an Elvis lookalike.
Top Tips
PREVENT your biscuit beaking and falling into your tea by wrapping tightly in cling film before dunking.
Top Tips
PENSIONERS. Rejoice. The thought of a lovely Royal Wedding will keep you warm this winter.
Top Tips
DAILY EXPRESS EDITORS: Why not contact Diana via a medium to see how delighted she is? Or make it up. Either way I don't care.
Top Tips
SAVE yourself a trip to Birmingham; go round a roundabout for 2 hours, then have a curry while Noddy Holder's on Radio 2.
Top Tips
TRICK people into thinking you're a time-traveller by buying clothes in Middlesbrough.
Top Tips
POLICE. Trouble identifying the troublesome student protesters? Put the images on Facebook. They'll tag themselves.
Top Tips
BANK ROBBERS. If you & your 'crew' have trouble telling each other apart when wearing ski-masks, then simply wear name badges.
Top Tips
METROPOLITAN police. Disperse the students immediately by threatening them with a long lecture.
Top Tips
DAVID Cameron. Whilst in China enquire as to how best to deal with student protests.
Top Tips
STUDENTS. While in London, head over to watch West Ham lose later, see how a real angry mob works.
Top Tips
OAP's. Phone doesn't ring as often these days? Pop a 'How's my Driving?' sticker on your car for hours of 'lively' chat.
Top Tips
CONVINCE people you are mentally ill by going out in the freezing cold in the middle of the night to queue for a computer game.
Top Tips
SAVE money on celebrity autobiographies by kidnapping them, locking them in a room and getting them to tell you their life story.
Top Tips-DAVE CAMERON. Avoid spunking two million quid up the wall on a happiness of the nation survey. We're all skint and pissed off.
Top Tips-GEORDIE GIRLS. The weather this weekend will be the perfect opportunity to test drive your short dresses and 5 inch heels.
Top Tips-JAMES BLUNT. Revive your career by remixing your biggest hit and offering to sing it at Bernard Matthew's funeral.
Top Tips-SEE what it's like to 'live life in a goldfish bowl' by filling your house with murky water and plastic castles.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Various
Today was a good day. Great breakfast in the Turkish,beside the pool and the beach enjoying the sun,phone call from my boys,sad farewells,slow boat back to hong kong-traditional junks in the harbour,skyscrapers that dwarf all in Europe and America with lasers and lights flashing,and now sat in their midst on my way home using the free wifi to send this post!
In hong kong news-12 people were taken to hospital today with burns after walking on hot coals.Make your own deductions.Furthermost in my mind though is,after the 6th person
was wheeled away,didn't the other 6
people have second thoughts?
Love this city
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Do we really need a royal family anymore?
No! In fact, the crimes against humanity commited by former Kings and Queens over the last 1,200 years should be brought to bear.Although the present Queen may not be responsible, her estate and riches should be held accountable, and forfeited to repay the debts owed to the British(and Irish) people. The land should go to the treasury and the properties opened as museums. The royal family should be stripped of any titles and allowed to live as private citizens. Traditionalists will disagree, but the main heritage left by absolute monarchs and their successors is long, bloody and shameful.We shame our ancestors by not avenging the pain and suffering inflicted upon them.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
A colder, crueller country – for no gain
Source-Independent
Click for full article.
Margaret Thatcher is lying sick in a private hospital bed in Belgravia but her political children have just pushed her agenda further and harder and deeper than she ever dreamed of. When was the last time Britain's public spending was slashed by more than 20 per cent? Not in my mother's lifetime. Not even in my grandmother's lifetime. No, it was in 1918, when a Conservative-Liberal coalition said the best response to a global economic crisis was to rapidly pay off this country's debts. The result? Unemployment soared from 6 per cent to 19 per cent, and the country's economy collapsed so severely that they lost all ability to pay their bills and the debt actually rose from 114 per cent to 180 per cent. "History doesn't repeat itself," Mark Twain said, "but it does rhyme."
George Osborne has just gambled your future on an extreme economic theory that has failed whenever and wherever it has been tried. In the Great Depression, we learned some basic principles. When an economy falters, ordinary people – perfectly sensibly – cut back their spending and try to pay down their debts. This causes a further fall in demand,and makes the economy worse.................David Cameron and George Osborne have ignored all this. They have ignored the warnings of the Financial Times, the newspaper most critical of their strategy. They have dismissed the warnings of Nobel economics laureates like Paul Krugman and Joseph Stiglitz, who have consistently been proved right in this crisis......
....PriceWaterhouseCooper – nobody's idea of a Trotskyite cell – says that a million people will now lose their jobs as a direct result.......
....Osborne has chosen the weakest people to take the worst cuts. The poorest 16-year-olds were given £30 a week to stay on in education, so they could afford to study – until Osborne's team dismissed it as a "bribe" and shut it down. The frailest old people depend on council services to wash them and feed them – yet Osborne just slashed their budget by 30 per cent, which service providers say will mean more pensioners being left to die in their own filth. Every family living on benefits is set to lose an average of £1,000 a year – which, as I've seen from living in the East End of London, will mean many poor kids across Britain never getting a birthday party, or a trip to the seaside, or a bed of their own, or a winter coat. This isn't just On Yer Bike, it's On Yer Own.....
......There is one stark symbol of how unjust the response to this economic disaster caused by bankers is. They have just paid themselves £7bn in bonuses – much of it our money – to reward themselves for failure. That's the same sum Osborne took from the benefits of the British poor yesterday, who did nothing to cause this crash. And he has the chutzpah to brag about "fairness.".....
......On the eve of the general election, Cameron told us: "There'll be no cuts to frontline services," "we're not talking about swingeing cuts," and "all cuts will be fair". Is it possible to call him anything but a liar and an ideologue today?....