Monday, May 30, 2011

Kids' views on separation.




"I was real young. I didn’t know what was going on. I knew Dad was missing, but I didn’t know why."
Eight-year-old girl

"Dad couldn’t really be as bad as Mom says he is."
Nine-year-old girl

"I don’t care who I live with. I love you both. Please don’t make me choose--just tell me."
Nine-year-old boy

"I really didn’t understand at first. But as the years went by, I thought it was my fault. It was a very confusing time for me."
Eighteen-year-old boy

"Divorce is like two lions in a den attacking each other. You know somebody is going to get hurt real bad. All kids can do is sit behind a window and watch it happen."
Nine-year-old boy

"My dad didn’t leave us. My mom took me while I was sleeping and she left him. I didn’t even know about it."
Five-year-old girl


"It makes me feel like my arms and legs aren’t attached."
Ten-year-old boy

"Daddy left. Will Mommy leave me too? What will happen to me?"
Eight-year-old girl



"I’ll promise to make dad chocolate chip cookies every week. They’re his favorite. He’ll come back then."


"If I don’t fight with my brother any more will you come back and live with us?"
Twelve-year-old boy

"If I go live with grandma can you and dad stay married?"
Seven-year-old girl

"I hate it when my mom asks me how she looks. I don’t like being put in that situation. I wish my dad were here to do it."
Fifteen-year-old boy

"My mom doesn’t think she’s a good cook. I don’t want her to feel bad. So I tell her it’s good, just like Daddy used to do."
Eight-year-old boy




"It has been four years since the divorce. I do not know what it is like to love or be loved unconditionally. I find it hopeless to even try for fear of this gut wrenching pain I knew/know from loving two of the most wonderful people in the world, mom and dad. I do not know if I will ever heal, when will this torment in my head and heart finally cease? I am 20 years old and I want nothing to do with marriage nor children. I am chained by the wounds of those that should have loved me the most, and I am confused"
Twenty-year-old woman

"I cry at night when I’m in bed, but my mom never knows."
Four-year-old girl

"I’ll probably grow up and get married and have babies, and then I’ll get a divorce. Everybody does."
Ten-year-old boy
bullet"I was real young. I didn’t know what was going on. I knew Dad was missing, but I didn’t know why."
Eight-year-old girl


"I wouldn’t miss my dad so much if I didn’t hear my mom crying so hard every night. It’s not fair my dad isn’t here to do his job."
Twelve-year-old boy

"It really hurt. It was hard for me to accept not being able to live in the same house with both parents."
Teenage girl

When asked how long it took to get over the divorce some of the kids said:

bullet"You never get over it." (Fifteen years later)
bullet"I still haven’t." (Twelve years later)
bullet"It’s been four years but I’m still not over it."
bullet"It took me about seven years to really get over it."
bullet"I wasn’t upset at the time. About a year later it hit and it lasted for a year."
bullet"A few years of therapy."
bullet"I still haven’t gotten over it. I may never." (Ten years later)

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