Monday, May 30, 2011
1001 posts
My last post was my 1,000th, since I began this blog almost exactly 6 years ago.Pity about the content, a far cry from the photos and videos of the family hiking, swimming, playing here in Hong Kong, or in the UK. 'Trying Europe' was definitely my biggest mistake, should have just carried on here. We certainly have been 'on the move' and a look through the archives was on the whole, always optimistic until just 6 months ago.As it stands now, I should rename the blog 'The Mercers divided'. As it stands I still have no contact with my boys, I have not spoken to them for months, all phone numbers have changed. This was all done without my knowledge, and I have no idea what my boys have been told. I have a stark choice now, to stay here in Hong Kong, working, furthering my career-as I have always done, but without any contact with my children.Or return to Mersyside, jobless, with little hope of gaining employment, to fight for the custody of my children.If I am forced into that corner, then I will fight with the same vigour as I have fought with all these years, when I got my wife visas here in Hong Kong and in the UK, against all the odds and all expectations.
Kids' views on separation.
"I was real young. I didn’t know what was going on. I knew Dad was missing, but I didn’t know why."
Eight-year-old girl
"Dad couldn’t really be as bad as Mom says he is."
Nine-year-old girl
Nine-year-old boy"I really didn’t understand at first. But as the years went by, I thought it was my fault. It was a very confusing time for me."
Eighteen-year-old boy
"Divorce is like two lions in a den attacking each other. You know somebody is going to get hurt real bad. All kids can do is sit behind a window and watch it happen."
Nine-year-old boy
"My dad didn’t leave us. My mom took me while I was sleeping and she left him. I didn’t even know about it."
Five-year-old girl
"It makes me feel like my arms and legs aren’t attached."
Ten-year-old boy
"Daddy left. Will Mommy leave me too? What will happen to me?"
Eight-year-old girl
"I’ll promise to make dad chocolate chip cookies every week. They’re his favorite. He’ll come back then."
"If I don’t fight with my brother any more will you come back and live with us?"
Twelve-year-old boy
"If I go live with grandma can you and dad stay married?"
Seven-year-old girl
"I hate it when my mom asks me how she looks. I don’t like being put in that situation. I wish my dad were here to do it."
Fifteen-year-old boy
"My mom doesn’t think she’s a good cook. I don’t want her to feel bad. So I tell her it’s good, just like Daddy used to do."
Eight-year-old boy
"It has been four years since the divorce. I do not know what it is like to love or be loved unconditionally. I find it hopeless to even try for fear of this gut wrenching pain I knew/know from loving two of the most wonderful people in the world, mom and dad. I do not know if I will ever heal, when will this torment in my head and heart finally cease? I am 20 years old and I want nothing to do with marriage nor children. I am chained by the wounds of those that should have loved me the most, and I am confused"
Twenty-year-old woman
"I cry at night when I’m in bed, but my mom never knows."
Four-year-old girl
| "I’ll probably grow up and get married and have babies, and then I’ll get a divorce. Everybody does." Ten-year-old boy | |
 | "I was real young. I didn’t know what was going on. I knew Dad was missing, but I didn’t know why." Eight-year-old girl |
"I wouldn’t miss my dad so much if I didn’t hear my mom crying so hard every night. It’s not fair my dad isn’t here to do his job."
Twelve-year-old boy
"It really hurt. It was hard for me to accept not being able to live in the same house with both parents."
Teenage girl
When asked how long it took to get over the divorce some of the kids said:
| "You never get over it." (Fifteen years later) |
| "I still haven’t." (Twelve years later) |
| "It’s been four years but I’m still not over it." |
| "It took me about seven years to really get over it." |
| "I wasn’t upset at the time. About a year later it hit and it lasted for a year." |
| "A few years of therapy." |
| "I still haven’t gotten over it. I may never." (Ten years later) |
What we do to our kids,
Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
Who gets hurt?
Judge quotes Philip Larkin's This Be The Verse to divorced parents of 'emotionally damaged' boy
Stanza of reason: Philip Larkin's famous 1971 poem This Be The Verse was quoted in court by a judge admonishing two warring parents
A warring divorced couple whose son has been emotionally damaged by their battles were given a message today by a senior judge - who used the powerful words of poet Philip Larkin.
Lord Justice Wall quoted: 'They f*** you up, your mum and dad / They may not mean to, but they do / They fill you with the faults they had / And add some extra, just for you.'
In his Court of Appeal judgment, he added: 'These four lines seem to give a clear warning to parents, who, post-separation, continue to fight the battles of the past, and show each other no respect.'
The case involves the future care of a nine-year-old boy whose 'parents have undoubtedly caused him serious harm by their ongoing, mutual dislike and recriminations,' said the judge.
They had come 'within a whisker of losing their child', said the judge, who reversed a county court ruling ordering the boy to be removed from the home of his mother.
Lord Justice Wall said Judge Everall QC had decided at Luton County Court that it was no longer possible for the parents and the boy to work together.
He added: 'I do not do so. I hope this case has given the mother a fright. I hope it has also given the father a fright.'
The appeal judge then gave his message to the parents, urging them to improve their relationship for their child's sake.
He said: 'Separated parents, in my experience, frequently fail to understand that their children love both of them, and have loyalty to both.
'The fact that one parent has come to hate the other, or that both hate each other is no reason for the child not to love both and have loyalty to both.
'It thus poses the most enormous difficulties for the children of separated parents when each parent vilifies the other, or makes it clear that he or she has no respect for the other.'
Lord Justice Wall, who said the case had a 'profoundly dispiriting' history, added: 'This mother and father are no different from many separated parents who make the damage to their children caused by their separation much worse by continuing their battles against each other in legal proceedings.'
He said they had already caused their son 'serious harm'
But he allowed the mother's appeal to keep the boy with her and contact for the father and said he hoped the judgment gave them 'an opportunity to mitigate that damage.
'If they do not do so, they may well lose the care of their child,' he warned.
The original order that the boy should live with his paternal grandparents was set aside.
The identities of the 31-year-old mother, 37-year-old father and their son - referred to as CR in court - are protected by reporting restrictions.
Lord Justice Wall said the parents met in South Africa in 1999 and married in 2002 but their relationship was already in difficulties both in England, the home of the father, and South Africa where the mother was born.
The couple were divorced in 2003 and at all times since their separation the boy had lived with his mother.
Court battles over custody of the child began six years ago and psychiatric reports found that his involvement in the parental battle would have a 'high risk' of increasing his 'negative and aggressive behaviours', causing a negative self-image and relationship difficulties.
A psychiatrist wrote that if the allegations about the way the parents had treated their son could be proved, they would be enough to indicate emotional and physical abuse.
Lord Justice Wall said: 'None of the professionals in this case doubts that the dispute between his parents has caused CR serious emotional harm.
'The simple fact of the matter, however, is that the local authority, which is the ultimate arbiter of these matters, does not think the threshold has been crossed, and had made it clear that it will not institute proceedings.'
The poetry used by Lord Justice Wall was taken from Larkin's This Be The Verse, written in 1971.
It is said to be the poet's best known and most frequently quoted poem.
Stanza of reason: Philip Larkin's famous 1971 poem This Be The Verse was quoted in court by a judge admonishing two warring parents
A warring divorced couple whose son has been emotionally damaged by their battles were given a message today by a senior judge - who used the powerful words of poet Philip Larkin.
Lord Justice Wall quoted: 'They f*** you up, your mum and dad / They may not mean to, but they do / They fill you with the faults they had / And add some extra, just for you.'
In his Court of Appeal judgment, he added: 'These four lines seem to give a clear warning to parents, who, post-separation, continue to fight the battles of the past, and show each other no respect.'
The case involves the future care of a nine-year-old boy whose 'parents have undoubtedly caused him serious harm by their ongoing, mutual dislike and recriminations,' said the judge.
They had come 'within a whisker of losing their child', said the judge, who reversed a county court ruling ordering the boy to be removed from the home of his mother.
Lord Justice Wall said Judge Everall QC had decided at Luton County Court that it was no longer possible for the parents and the boy to work together.
He added: 'I do not do so. I hope this case has given the mother a fright. I hope it has also given the father a fright.'
The appeal judge then gave his message to the parents, urging them to improve their relationship for their child's sake.
He said: 'Separated parents, in my experience, frequently fail to understand that their children love both of them, and have loyalty to both.
'The fact that one parent has come to hate the other, or that both hate each other is no reason for the child not to love both and have loyalty to both.
'It thus poses the most enormous difficulties for the children of separated parents when each parent vilifies the other, or makes it clear that he or she has no respect for the other.'
Lord Justice Wall, who said the case had a 'profoundly dispiriting' history, added: 'This mother and father are no different from many separated parents who make the damage to their children caused by their separation much worse by continuing their battles against each other in legal proceedings.'
He said they had already caused their son 'serious harm'
But he allowed the mother's appeal to keep the boy with her and contact for the father and said he hoped the judgment gave them 'an opportunity to mitigate that damage.
'If they do not do so, they may well lose the care of their child,' he warned.
The original order that the boy should live with his paternal grandparents was set aside.
The identities of the 31-year-old mother, 37-year-old father and their son - referred to as CR in court - are protected by reporting restrictions.
Lord Justice Wall said the parents met in South Africa in 1999 and married in 2002 but their relationship was already in difficulties both in England, the home of the father, and South Africa where the mother was born.
The couple were divorced in 2003 and at all times since their separation the boy had lived with his mother.
Court battles over custody of the child began six years ago and psychiatric reports found that his involvement in the parental battle would have a 'high risk' of increasing his 'negative and aggressive behaviours', causing a negative self-image and relationship difficulties.
A psychiatrist wrote that if the allegations about the way the parents had treated their son could be proved, they would be enough to indicate emotional and physical abuse.
Lord Justice Wall said: 'None of the professionals in this case doubts that the dispute between his parents has caused CR serious emotional harm.
'The simple fact of the matter, however, is that the local authority, which is the ultimate arbiter of these matters, does not think the threshold has been crossed, and had made it clear that it will not institute proceedings.'
The poetry used by Lord Justice Wall was taken from Larkin's This Be The Verse, written in 1971.
It is said to be the poet's best known and most frequently quoted poem.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Ryan Giggs-exposed
This is a victory for freedom of speech,footballers,Tv stars, politicians,bankers,and others in the public eye, should not be able to make a mockery of the legal system because they have the money to be able get these Super-injunctions.The legal system already has libel laws which can be used in these cases.These are civil cases, and if newspapers are guilty of defamation of character, then they can be sued accordingly. I don't give a toss who they are screwing or what twisted sex games they pay for, but if they didn't do it they would havbe no problem. These footballers earn millions, and unfortunately that is the price of fame, the lack of privacy.This has nothing to do with my being a Liverpool fan-honest! Well it is funny though!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Sunday Herald reveals Ryan Giggs.
Ryan Giggs is outed by The Sunday Herald as the footballer involved in an affair and who is responsible for the Super Injuncttion restricting the freedom of the press and for attempting to control twiitter.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Caution
The first lesson to be learnt from all of this is; Be wary of women who will do anything to get their hands on a UK passport and UK residency.Bizarre as that seems to most of us-who would want to live in the Shithole we know and love (and left)?There are indeed people who regardless of moral and ethical concerns will somehow wheedle their way in, and once there, you will find your services are no longer required, and said woman will join her compatriots in some English ghetto or other. Strange thing is, is that the exact same thing happened to my elder brother a couple of years ago, with a woman from the same country, luckily for him no kids were involved, just lots of money! Detractors may say, then don't marry an Asian woman half your age. I married in my twenties, my wife was 5 years older than me.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Why?
Does it make you happy to hurt and punish me like this?but punish for what exactly,what did I do? Never in a million years would I ever ever have cut you off from your children,never! Why?
Thursday, May 12, 2011
No windows.
woke up,thought 'what a nice sleep', made up a rhyme about the coming weekend, bathroom,smoke, glanced at clock-only 2am, only been asleep 2 hrs! Body clock out of sync, no windows to the outside world from my room.Back to sleep!
Super injunctions restrict our freedom of speech.
| Billy Jones Two stars of the TV show Shameless, David Threlfall and Pauline McLynn (Libby Croker) had an affair. Both are married. #superinjunction Billy Jones Jeremy Clarkson has an injunction preventing the publication or mention of intimate photographs of him and Jemima Khan. #superinjunction Billy Jones British actor Hugh Bonneville paid £195 for the services of prostitute Helen Wood. Wood used a sex toy on Bonneville #superinjunction
Billy Jones Footballer Ryan Giggs had an extramarital affair with Big Brother star Imogen Thomas which lasted for 7 months. #superinjunction |
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