joke

ASDA

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."


Listen, don't waste your time," Mike replies. There's a diagnostic computer up at Asda. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs five
quid.... ....a lot quicker and better than a doctor".

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda. He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen. He deposited the required £5, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.

The computer printed the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener - Aisle 5.

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo - Aisle 11.

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant, with Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better....

........and thank you for shopping at Asda