Irish declare war on France (Cheers Giles)

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
>
> 'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland .. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you.
>
> We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty.'
>
> 'Well, Paddy,' Sarkozy replied, 'This is indeed important news. How big is your army?'
>
> 'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's
> calculation, 'there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes
> eleven.'
>
> Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.'
>
> 'Begoora!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'
>
> Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have
> managed to get us some infantry equipment!'
>
> 'And what equipment would that be paddy?' Sarkozy asks.
>
> 'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor..'
>
> Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured
> personnel carriers.
>
> Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'
>
> 'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. I'll have to get back to you.'
>
> Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne!

> We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'
>
> Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy,
> that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes.

> My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites..

> And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000.'
>
> 'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'
>
> Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day..
> 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy.
> I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'
>
> 'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy.. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'
>
> 'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'